Fallen Hearts Pt. 1 (First Sunday)

Fallen Hearts

Pt. 1

By

Chiinas

That’s all it took—one day, FULL of reminders that the only way out is to sacrifice it all. She was never the type to do this kind of thing. Her life was full of trials and wondering if and when she and her family would make it out of the hood. Life would get so hard that times, she felt there was no other life for her to live but this one. But on this day, all that changed. This is the day she gave in to temptation.

The plan was to just get enough money to help her family put more food on the table and pay bills that were long past due. No one understands though, that when this frequency of money becomes available to you, it’s hard to go back and adjust to living a basic life. All the more, it’s more difficult to accept that even with hard work and credentials, struggling financially is a reality that seems impossible to change. Kaylie knew what to do but her mind was against her heart at this point.

Let me show you what I mean but before I do, remember:

“Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.”  ― Jesse Jackson

The first Sunday

Kaylie knew since first grade that she wanted to be a doctor. She has passion for helping others even when there seems to be no solutions. She believes in giving others her last because her Grandmother always told her and still does that “God will make a way.” She helped out around the house and made sure everything was taken care of whenever there was a problem as a child. Kaylie is big on family so her decision to get out of her car and approach the walk way was one fueled on hunger. Hunger for better; hunger for days filled with assurance rather than burning hope and desire. The club looked just as it did on TV; even the flaws were clear as they had been on every viewing. Kaylie’s heart began to beat fast when she saw the two security guards standing outside awaiting any visitors. Within a few steps, she was already almost to the green plants that hosted themselves in front of them so it was too late to turn back. Of course, she could always come up with a quick lie, she could say she was looking for a friend or a cousin but then what if they ask who? She made eye contact with the buff guy to the left of her since his eyes demanded her attention and reason for being there. This immediately made her nervous and it became evident in her fumbling with her crossbody bag and keys that were locked in between her fingers. The guy saw this and broke the awkwardness by saying, “You’re early as hell if you’re trying to see some a**.” Kaylie slightly smiled and looked down. He then realized the true reason for her presence at this time of the day. “If you’re looking for Squeez, he won’t be in for another ten minutes but you can wait inside at the bar,” he said in reaction to her lack of confidence. He didn’t want to put anymore spotlight on her seeing as though she was not the kind of female to get flip at the mouth in response.

Kaylie’s face wrinkled and she jumped back when he went to pat her down. He laughed at her immediate squirm and threw his hands up saying, “woah, relax, beautiful. It’s mandatory for everyone to get checked before they come in.” Kaylie then relaxed her body, took a step forward, and raised her arms to her side to get checked. He patted her down and then took a look through her purse. “You good,” he said and pointed in the direction for her to get to the bar. Short, stubborns coughs reign out from her as she caught second hand smoke just from him opening the door. The other guy laughed and shook his head. Kaylie grabbed her body closer with her hands, wrapping them around her waist, walking through looking and eyeing every inch of the club as though she was thrown into a hell pit.

 This is the moment when she knew she could not turn back but she made a promise to herself—one that she refused to break. Her heart raced and jumped so much, she already began to regret her decision. Her feet continued walking forward but her mind was saying no. All the while, each and every bit of testosterone was scanning her body from head to toe. She looked like an outsider—a girl who comes from a stable family, one who did not have to struggle. See, that’s the thing, she did; Kaylie knows what it feels like to be bottomed out and helpless. A feeling that makes her sick; a feeling that has led her to this scornful place.

“Drinking this early, sweetie?” the man at the bar said in a raspy voice. His chin covered with a heavy beard. It’s obvious his is also a cook along with being a bartender; he has a hair net on with a dishtowel in the front of his apron and his hands smell of fresh seasoning. I might as well have a little bit of something to kill my edge, Kaylie thought to herself; she then ordered Henny on the rocks. Squeez arrived and approached her at the bar before she could consume her second sip. He was at a loss for words and this took her to another level of nervous. He gleamed at her and reached for her hand. She was polite and reached for his awaiting his response, his approval. Kaylie did not know how this goes but she knew that the club owner has to be impressed by what he sees. She stuck on his gaze; why did she expect an overweight, sweaty, aggressive man? Is this him she then began to second guess. His gazed shifted to her drink and he smiled, chuckling a little. Kaylie then dropped her head in embarrassment and started fumbling with her purse. He saw that his reaction made her uncomfortable so he lifted her chin up with the tip of his thumb and index finger. He raised it slowly, making sure she felt his genuine guilt about the discomfort. “I’m, Squeez. Sorry about that, I just wasn’t expecting you…I mean…” She immediately cut him off. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” she said as she stood and attempted to dash for the door. He swiveled around in his chair to stop her from running out. His hands met her waist and she flung into his chest. She looked down and tried to move out of his way but his calm spirit held her still. “Hey, wait. Please don’t go. I know why you’re here, Squeez said with utter gentleness. And just with those words, hot tears formed in her eyes and dropped at the sound of the thumping in her head. He softly rubbed her shoulder and directed her to a lounge area to calm her down. He leaves for a minute to grab some tissue and a bottle of water. He places both things down on the table and sat across from her.

He waits for her tears to stop. Ten minutes passes and Squeez hadn’t noticed. He is engulfed by her beauty and poise; she carries herself in a classy way, so much to where he knows she must be in dire need or in a sticky situation to have enough guts to come here. She eventually looks up and makes herself aware of her new surroundings. Although she does not suspect danger, she does not know this man from Adam as her Grandmother says so she gains back her alertness. Their eyes meet and she analyzes him. He’s tall, slender, has beautiful teeth, a fresh low fade with a suit on that was tailored to accentuate his gym fit body. She reminded him of the men in Tyler Perry’s movies—almost too handsome to be real. Why is he in this business? I need to leave. He must think I’m… “Are you looking for someone or are you…?” He said as she intervened, informing him that, “I’m interested in working for you.” For a split second, he felt disappointed when hearing those words trickle in her voice but he didn’t know why. She noticed his disposition and got quiet again. “I can definitely get you on but are you sure you want in to this lifestyle. Are you in school?” He asked for seeking clarification for her presence, not that he is complaining. “I just need more income,” she said with a slight attitude, communicating that she’s not comfortable with him prying. “Cool, cool,” he said licking his lips, readjusting his watch. She never met a man who did that before but in the moment, it turned her on. She knows not to fall into this pit; crushing on him and working for him are two things that do not and will not go together. He stands up and reaches to shake her hand. Kaylie looks and recognizes that he is waiting for her to shake his hand. She stands up and meets his hand with hers, confirming their agreement. “How does 10-4 sound?” Squeez asks in a curious manner. Why am I so eager to know more about her? She’s not the first pretty female I’ve had to work for me… “It sounds great,” she says putting on a fake smile while turning to walk out. “You’re on starting tomorrow, you may want to meet with Tilisha before you leave to make sure you’re prepared. She should be in the back,” Squeez says trying to feel her out. “Sure,” Kaylie said in a quiet voice. He sticks his arm out to guide her to the back. She walks in front of him, taking careful steps towards the back. He opens the door for her that leads to the dressing room where they find Tilisha rolling her hair. “Who this?” she asks with a cold attitude. “Lish, I want you to meet…” Squeez says waiting for Kaylie to render her name. “Kaylie,” she says not wanting to talk further. Tilisha’s attitude is far from welcoming and this place starts to give her bad vibes. Am I really doing this? Kaylie questions her conscious and then turns to leave the room. Squeez goes after her and…..

Tune in for more next Wednesday!

J

-Chiinas