Here's a poem by Nicholas Leisure titled, "Rain....."
Rain, Rain don’t go away
Rain, Rain I hope you stay
You make my friends think what they have lost
You make my friends happy for the one wish they made
Rain, Rain don’t stop falling
So they can feel something one last time
Rain, Rain I hope you kill the one who put pain in-
my friends of shame
Rain, Rain stop my friends from falling
Rain, Rain.I hoping it’ll put my friends pain in-
someone else vase before its to late
Rain, Rain help them out so they will be amazed
for there is no pain
Thomas, Thomas don't go away
Thomas, Thomas I hope you stay
You make my friends think what they have lost
You make my friends happy for the one wish they made
Thomas, Thomas don't stop falling
So they can feel something one last time
Thomas, Thomas I hope you kill the one who put pain in-
my friends of shame
Thomas, Thomas stop my friends from falling
Thomas, Thomas. I hope it'll put my friends pain in-
someone else vase before its to late
Thomas, Thomas help them out so they will be amazed
for there is no pain
My strategy for Leisure's poem was to replace "rain" with a proper noun to see if the message/messages Leisure is trying to convey the first time would still be apparent. I soon found out as I re-typed the poem that by replacing "rain" with "Thomas" that it was and it was not. It was since in the original poem, I presume Leisure is trying to say that rain is a good healer-- in the metaphorical sense that it washes pain away and it gives one a clean slate. In my version of the poem, Thomas is the person who takes a fall so everyone else can have the opportunity to escape pain and live a normal-like life.. unlike him. It was not because in a way, the poem comes across as a bit suicidal--making a friend sound like he/she was provoking Thomas to kill himself so that everyone else would be adversity/pain free.
Interestingly, by replacing on word in an entire poem can either change the poem's message/messages or it can make the message/messages stand out more. However, the thing to keep in mind is that a poem has more than a million interpretations. Interpreting a poem is about the the meaning behind it AND the intentional emotional effect. Leisure's version sounds more hopeful whereas mine has a tone of desperation and anger. This exercise helped me realized the importance of word play. Though our language system is complex, playing with it can be an adventure....sometimes!
I thought this piece was creative and ironically enough replacing rain with Thomas the poem still sounds good, it doesn't sound silly. I think I like the Thomas replacement more than the actual poem "Rain".
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